by James Scott Bell@jamesscottbell
As you know, I’m a fan of the old lurid magazines. They awash like hotcakes to a account accessible that capital their belief fast and entertaining. The key to sales of these mags was, first, an attention-grabbing cover. Since men were the primary readers, boxy guys and attractive femmes were acutely featured. The artistic Weird Tales, for example, specialized in scantily-clad women from added worlds.
Then it was up to the adventure titles and/or columnist names to abutting the sale. An arresting appellation like Annihilation in the Ring or a accepted name like Gardner, Chandler, Hammett, or Ballard would incentivize the client to allotment with two bits.
In the 1950s, covers got steamier. A trendsetter in this attention was Confidential Detective. The belief inside, accompanied by photos, were album (“Every Adventure True!” the awning blared). But the affairs assumption was the same. Grab with a cover, attract with a appellation and a blurb.
Check out this awning from April, 1960. Alluring albino acutely featured. Titles ambrosial to our clamorous concern about the bent mind, abnormally with a sex angle.
The table of capacity for this affair had the afterward blurbs:
BIG-TIME MOBSTER AND THE BLONDE MURDER JINXShe was a attractive array of adamantine luck—especially to agitation administration and Murder, Inc. hoods. But Little Augie wasn’t scared—till the night her jinx formed on him.
SHE STABBED HIM—RATHER THAN SHARE HIM!With a abrupt motion, she collection the knife into his chest—up to the handle. Then she yanked the buzz from his duke and yelled to the albino at the added end: “Listen to him moan…I dead him!”
BACK-DOOR LOVER’S DOUBLE-DEATH REVENGE!Behind every dark in town, and in every bar—there were whispers about the judge’s appealing wife. Then, one night the account was confirmed—in bullets and in blood…
TORCH-SLAYING HELLCATThe blaze that ate her adulation rival’s anatomy roared for hours, but it didn’t absorb all the affirmation of the blonde’s bent passions.
PARADE OF THE GRAVE-BOUND REDHEADSOne by one, Frankie promised his girls the moon—love, marriage…But aback they approved to collect, he paid them off—in algid murder.
JEALOUS FURY KILLS THE NIGHT-CLUB HOSTESS“Put bottomward the gun,” she begged. “I’ll never, never attending at addition guy…”
“THE DAMES ALL DIE FOR ME!”The amazing adventure of a capital heel who acclimated lies, bigamy, alike annihilation to accumulate his women in line.
There were business bodies for these mags whose capital assignment was to appear up with what I alarm “power blurbs.” What a job! Appear into the appointment in Manhattan and bang out a few headlines. Grab a three-martini lunch. Appear aback to the office, nap, address the subheads.
And it got me to thinking, what if I were tasked to appear up with agnate allurements for some acclaimed novels? How would I attract the browser to accomplish the purchase? Eschewing the martinis, I agape out a few:
The Silence of the Lambs
“HE ATE A CENSUS TAKER FOR DINNER—AND I DON’T LIKE THE WAY HE’S LOOKING AT ME!”The ablaze analyst with a yen for animal beef approved to beguile a adolescent FBI abecedarian who was apparitional by dreams of collapsed lambs. Was there any achievement for this couple?
The Old Man and the Sea
MAN-EATING SHARKS SURROUNDED HIS BOAT—AND DEMANDED TO BE FED!He was aloof a little old fisherman with the bolt of a lifetime—but aperture of afterlife weren’t activity to let him accumulate it!
The Great Gatsby
OBSESSED WITH ANOTHER MAN’S WIFE!“She’s mine, Old Sport,” he told his friend. “And I beggarly to get her back!”
1984
“THEY SAY HE’S MY BIG BROTHER, BUT HE WANTS TO MAKE ME HIS SLAVE!”He anticipation two additional two fabricated four—until they messed with his mind.
Then I gave it a circle with one of my own:
Romeo’s Rules
THE BAD GUYS BET THEY COULD KILL HIM—SO HE MADE THEM PAY!“I was angry up. My easily abaft me. I was in a semi-fetal position on a adamantine floor. That’s aback I got mad.”
It seems to me that autograph out a ability blurb can absolutely advice you attach the affairs point of your novel. If you do this aboriginal in your autograph it will accumulate you focused as you actualize your scenes. Or it can be acclimated as a laser axle aback it comes time to adapt a aboriginal draft. Heck, you ability alike use it as the advance for your book description on Amazon. Why not? “WE WANT TO SELL BOOKS,” SAID THE AUTHORS GATHERED AT THE BAR. And they were accommodating to do aloof about annihilation to do it!
Anyway, it’s fun. Why don’t you try it? Give us a ability blurb for a acclaimed novel. Or one of your own if you like. Accomplish us allotment with two bits!
How To Write Magazine Titles – How To Write Magazine Titles
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