Profile bios above the internet (not aloof on dating sites) can acquaint you a lot about someone. Alike if they are adorning some aspects and abashing others, they can accord you a quick anatomy of advertence of what a actuality finds to be of value. There’s one authoritative the viral circuit on the internet that is abnormally telling—and not in the way he intended. But the burdensome amaranthine annal of attributes he’s gluttonous speaks to above issues about the outsize demands our ability places on looks and politics, abnormally back we’re talking about “requirements” for what makes for an ambrosial woman.
Because the profile’s name is blocked out, we are aloof activity to all-overs this man “Oh Boy.” Oh Boy absitively to opt out of a claimed description and instead map out what amounts to a complicated arcade account for his ideal woman. He, like abounding afore him, blurred the assignment, instead allotment to address the adventures for this abstract person.
Oh Boy starts his bio appealing tame, relatively, as he says he is attractive for accession with bourgeois values. While he outlines that to be pro-birth (he writes “pro-life”), actually into guns, and Catholic, there are at atomic two red flags already, but at atomic he doesn’t say MAGA. Oh Boy never actually says it, but as he goes on, he ability as well, because it alone gets worse from here.
*Screams internally.*
Let’s alpha with the weirdly specific requirements for height, weight, bra admeasurement (including the band), waist size, and shoe size?! Maybe he already bought all the clothes his approaching apron will anytime charge and that is why he is so austere on all of these? Not accept and an actually antic rationale, but like, conceivably hardly bigger than actuality a edge by ambitious specific abstracts of your cogent other? No, it’s cool any way you circuit it.
Because amuse explain the waist admeasurement to bra admeasurement difference. I’ve apparent bodies online who adopt a specific cup size, but a bandage size? The bandage admeasurement is the ultimate betrayal he has no abstraction what he is talking about. The bandage admeasurement for a 32 is 28-30 inches (71-76 cm) and for a 34 is 30-32 inches (76-81 cm). Alike if you avoid the numbers, because accepted allocation is weird, that isn’t abutting to a 12 to 15-inch waist. Oh Boy, that is half.
He didn’t say inches for the waist, but the another is that this is a typo and he meant shirt size. Still wrong. A actuality cutting a admeasurement 12 and belief 125 (in best cases) is cutting a largeish shirt.
Clothes are additionally brought up because his ideal woman “should be 80% casual, 20% formal, but be into cutting apparel in bed.” Not gonna kink-shame, but as for the added accouterment specifications, unless you are Clinton Kelly and Stacy London of What Not To Abrasion and alms a apparel makeover, it’s above not accept to accord a allotment of back your accomplice should abrasion assertive types of clothes. Also, as the yoga pants fad proves, the about academism of clothes is absolute subjective.
Oh Boy additionally demands “PG13 with all others, R-XXX w/ me.” There are so abounding bigger agency to chat this, but hey, at atomic he is constant with awfulness. This is apparently a acceptable time to point out that this additional some beforehand actuality accord off the vibe that Oh Boy wants a “cool girl.” Not to be abashed with the regular, not-cool girl, the “cool girl” is the fantasy of “I’m not like added girls,” implying by absence that there s commodity amiss with added girls en masse. The Booty did a abundant video on this in media, and commodity tells me that this array of longstanding pop-culture abstraction is area he is accepting all these account from—that and his imagination.
Like the “chick that can adhere with one of the guys” trope, this woman that Oh Boy wants is not real—not because women, like men and non-binary people, aren’t circuitous and multifaceted, but because the algebraic ain’t mathing apropos the above bra and waist size.
Instead of finishing with apparently the best accustomed band in the accomplished thing, “You charge additionally accept or adulation dogs and no kids,” Oh Boy requires her to be 18 to 26 years old. How old is *checks notes* our “Student at Self-Employed”? 38. Oh Boy has already showed us a accomplished bassinet of red flags, and while age gaps in developed relationships aren’t necessarily predatory, accurately ambitious one—with the minimum 20 years adolescent than yourself—certainly sets off some all-overs bells.
Oh Boy would’ve been accept and not about as meme-able if he’d kept the bio about him with maybe aloof some basal (and I do beggarly minimal), different deal-breakers. Bigger yet, he should appraise why anniversary allotment of this is important him and whether it would be fair for the -to-be accomplice to ask commodity agnate of him. There is some accord and booty complex in dating, but admitting the industry congenital about abutting abeyant hook-ups or partners, the action itself shouldn’t be apparent as an absolute marketplace.
The “shopping list” affinity actually is absolute for how this behavior (prevalent on dating sites) mirrors the way accession would acquisition the absolute account on a arcade website—seriously, alike bottomward to the measurements. An accomplished 2018 Atlantic commodity gets into the weeds of what it agency to amusement dating the way we amusement the arcade acquaintance today. This objectification by cerebration of dating accession as appearance off a account or a bold of allowance additionally makes participants added acceptable to feel abandoned and cold. This worsens the already baneful ambiance in which bodies amusement bodies like applesauce through technology because they don’t feel real, and the after-effects assume beneath with a awning amid them.
Everyone, but (according to studies) abnormally men, needs to anticipate about the aeon of abuse put on others back you amusement bodies awfully in a dating app. In Oh Boy’s case, while we’re adored not to see his DMs. His demands for a woman to be his fantasy of what a woman should be are abhorrent and demoralizing. His bio is not the aboriginal time a bio has gone viral for actuality advancing to strangers online. In accession to Twitter, there are accomplished subreddits and TikTok accounts committed to assuming how beggarly bodies are on dating apps.
When I say “mean” I’m not talking about rejection, but the ghosting, alien harassment, name-calling, ambitious lists, etc. Every time this happens, it both adds adulteration to the dating spaces you inhabit, and it after-effects in real-life accent and all-overs that could accept been avoided. There are already inherent stresses back dating or accord building, so it’s best if we don’t collectively accomplish it worse in new agency by alleviative bodies in humanely.
(via Twitter, image: Alex Green via Pexels)
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—The Mary Sue has a austere animadversion policy that forbids, but is not bound to, claimed blame toward anyone, abhorrence speech, and trolling.—
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