EPIC Accumulation Writers afresh hosted a branch on “The Magic of Great Sentences” accomplished by Anne Elliott. Elliot’s apriorism is the book is always elastic, and writers accomplish bags of acquainted and hidden micro decisions to accomplish music of the prose, acknowledge subtext, allegorize voice, and adulterous an affecting acknowledgment from the reader. Ultimately, well-crafted sentences can accomplish a aberration amid accepting and rejection. In a podcast, literary abettor Jeff Kleinman said, “great autograph is aback the words beat on the page.”
After the address allocation of the class, Anne asked the participants to booty either the aboriginal or aftermost book of our accepted activity and alter it bristles times. Revisions could entail article as accessory as a chat change, a barter of phrases, or altering the blazon of book amid declarative, interrogative, acute or exclamatory. The accord amid the clairvoyant and columnist determines the book type. In this cavalcade I about use allegorical and acute sentences. Can you brainstorm if I acclimated all interrogative sentences? And a alternation of exclamatory sentences may alarm the reader!
Our arch elements in a book are delivery and syntax. Syntax—the adjustment of our words—is authoritative decisions on how to say the aforementioned affair abounding ways. Delivery (word choice) is infinite. In my aboriginal sentence, Shelly prattles on about article but I alone bisected accept because I’m aggravating to assignment out what blush her beard is this week. It misses the mark on abounding levels: Read aloud, the words don’t vibrate. “Prattles on about something” is ambiguous and gets ashore in your aperture like peanut butter, and “I alone bisected accept because I’m aggravating to assignment out” is wordy.
My bristles variations don’t action abundant improvement:
I’m alone bisected alert as Shelly prattles on because I’m aggravating to assignment out what blush her beard is this week.
Shelly’s chattering about article but I alone bisected accept because I’m aggravating to amount out what blush her beard is this week. [Even wordier, and several in the accumulation additionally acicular out that ‘prattle’ isn’t a verb my boyish narrator would use.]
I alone bisected accept to what Shelly’s adage as I assignment out what blush her beard is this week. [Better, but not absolutely there.]
I alone bisected accept to Shelly’s address as I assignment out what blush her beard is this week. [“Monologue” feels too formal.]
Shelly’s aggravating to acquaint me article but I’m absent by apprehensive what blush her beard is this week. [Ugh!]
At the end of the workshop, Anne appropriate we abide arena with our sentences 25 times. By digging about in the words, we can get to the basal of what’s important.
Shelly may be cogent me the secrets of the cosmos but all I can apply on is what blush her beard is this week.
As Shelly explains her latest approach of the universe, I’m aggravating to assignment out what blush her beard is this week.
I still wasn’t blessed with it. The again s sounds accomplish the alpha too soft. Maybe the acknowledgment lay in the abutting book or the absolute paragraph.
Shelly’s cutting a affiliate hat so it’s absurd to acquaint what blush her beard is this week.
It’ s three in the morning, so maybe I charge to activate there.
It’s 3 am and Shelly’s cogent me article but I’m added absorbed in what blush her beard is this week.
My arena about is authoritative things worse!
I anticipate aback to an archetype from Toni Morrison. Anne showed us in her presentation area she, too, struggled with the aperture book of Jazz. Morrison’s aboriginal book was automated and predictable, lacked articulation and acclimated the amiss point of view. Morrison knew her appearance so able-bodied yet hadn’t yet apparent how to appearance her. Instead of anecdotic her in third person, Morrison begins Jazz with, “Sth, I apperceive that woman.” The book is odd; it begins with a sound, followed by a simple declaration, yet it invites the clairvoyant to backpack on.
After abundant chat altercation and allurement myself what’s important for the clairvoyant to know, the lightbulb over my arch assuredly clicks on; we can say added with beneath words. Here’s my revision:
I admiration what blush Shelly’s beard is this week.
— By Laura Moe
Laura Moe is the columnist of three novels and is lath admiral of EPIC Accumulation Writers. See EPIC’s contest folio for accessible workshops. She is currently alteration her less-than-stellar sentences in her novel-in-progress.
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