DEAR HARRIETTE: My bedmate generally buys new items for the domiciliary (appliances that will account anybody in the house) but presents them as ability to me.
He doesn’t accept that affairs a new washer and dryer is not a allowance for me if we will both account from the appliance. How do I get him to accept why this isn’t acceptable?
Bad Gifts
DEAR BAD GIFTS: Your husband’s action is not unusual, nor is your acknowledgment to it.
When a domiciliary needs accessories in adjustment to function, they generally become a allowance because they can be cher and booty added accomplishment and money to procure. Yet, an apparatus is not the aforementioned affair as a claimed allowance for you.
Be affable as you attack to accomplish this point. Thank your bedmate for affairs the apparatus that the ancestors needs. Point out that you acknowledge him authoritative this acquirement for the home, but that it is not the aforementioned as accepting article appropriate aloof for you.
Give him ideas. For me, it could be as simple as a boutonniere of flowers, an allurement for banquet at a bounded restaurant, tickets to a achievement by an artisan I love, tickets to a blur I am absorbed in, a bandage in my admired blush or a canteen of perfume.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a abhorrent altercation with my antecedent boss. She advised me horribly, and we beggared on a bad note.
I was admiring and loyal to her for the absolute time I formed with her, but we don’t allege anymore.
She is the alone bang-up I’ve anytime had. Is it astute for me to accumulate her as a advertence on my résumé? I don’t accept any added advertence to use.
Need Reference
DEAR NEED REFERENCE: I consistently say that endings are added important than ancestry because the reverberations of endings aftermost a continued time. Ideally, you appetite to abutting out relationships so that both parties feel acceptable about anniversary added back they airing away.
If you charge this woman’s reference, it sounds like you charge to mend that accord somehow. You charge to acquisition it in your affection to absolve her for her bad behavior and to admit what happened at the breaking point. Then ability out to her.
Ask to see her in person. If possible, barometer how she is accomplishing and what is accident in her business. Tell her you are apologetic that things concluded the way they did. Remind her that she was your aboriginal boss, and therefore, she will consistently authority a appropriate abode in your life. Then be absolute and ask her if she will address you a letter of recommendation, as you are attractive for a new job and would acknowledge her support.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and architect of DREAMLEAPERS, an action to advice bodies admission and actuate their dreams. You can accelerate questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
How To Write A Testimonial For A Friend – How To Write A Testimonial For A Friend
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