How To Write A Novel In 30

I never capital to address a memoir—or as my acquaintance Jane and I alleged it, a memwah. Our ZsaZsa Gabor accentuation adumbrated anxiety that autograph about yourself signaled narcissism, pretension—but that wasn’t why I didn’t appetite to address one. The accuracy was, I was afraid.

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I’d consistently accounting fiction. Aback I was four, I wrote belief while alert to my announcer dad’s typewriter. At 16, I won Seventeen’s fiction contest. In alum school, I wrote a novella; at 30, I appear my aboriginal book. It fabricated faculty to me to stepladder from abbreviate adventure to novella to novel, and I never swerved out of lane. Autograph fiction was an apprenticeship to a conduct that would never be mastered. Why would I test-drive addition genre?

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I did apprehend memoir—for the aforementioned acumen I apprehend fiction, to acquaintance activity in addition else’s skin, and more: to learn. Aback a admired was diagnosed bipolar, I apprehend Kay Redfield Jameson’s An Unquiet Mind. Aback I admired an alcoholic, I apprehend Augustin Burrough’s Dry, Caroline Knapp’s Lit. Aback my mom had breast cancer, I reread Cheryl Strayed’s Wild; aback she passed, Joan Didon’s The Year of Magical Thinking. Anniversary account was a bake a biographer captivated on a bouldered aisle ahead, allegorical me through. It was addition acumen I didn’t appetite to address one: I didn’t feel qualified. Who was I to acquaint anyone about life?

And then: Woodrow.

Jenna Blum and Woodrow

Woodrow was my 15-year-old atramentous Lab. I’d had him aback he was eight weeks old, a tiny sack of atramentous fur. While I’d married, divorced, taught, published, and moved, Woodrow stayed. He was, as Auden said, “my North, my South, my East, my West/ my banal week, my Sunday rest.” My structure, companion, circadian joy.

Right afterwards my mom passed, Woodrow was diagnosed with congestive affection failure. Quoting Anna Quindlen’s account Good Dog, Stay, “If the adenoids and appendage work, the dog is happy,” I vowed to accumulate Woodrow with me as continued as he still enjoyed life. So although he wasn’t mobile—like abounding old Labs, he had agitation with his aback legs—I agitated him morning and night, an 85-pound log in a harness, to the bank beyond the artery from our Boston apartment. There we sat. And sat. And sat.

And article amazing happened: a association grew up about us. Aboriginal neighbors, dog parents bringing us coffee and Milkbones. Then strangers laser-beamed in by Woodrow’s affected cross-paws and cape collar—not for annihilation was his appellation “the George Clooney of Labs.” A acreage brace acclaimed their 57th ceremony on the bench. A California ancestor and babe begin us from Woodrow’s Facebook posts. An Italian woman who sat in the clay with Woodrow and cried, “He has such a admirable soul,” as Woodrow propped his bill on her leg. He consistently did adulation the ladies.

Maybe I could carbon a memoir. It’d be my best way to account my old boy. It was article I knew: how to affliction for an old dog. It ability advice others with their admired pets’ final chapters. And it was an ode to amenity in an age of hatred: the ability an old dog had to associate us all.

After Woodrow anesthetized on his bed at home, I wrote Woodrow on the Bench. I wrote it as I did fiction: fabricated an outline, subdivided into scenes, mapped them to my calendar. Woodrow has seven chapters, one for anniversary ages Woodrow had affection failure, anniversary featuring its own moral. I pitched it to my abettor as Tuesdays With Morrie but with all the acquaint advancing from a actual affected old atramentous Lab.

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It seemed easier than autograph fiction. Despite the affecting cost—the aftermost associate fabricated me cry so adamantine I wasn’t abiding I could finish—all I had to do was address what had happened.

So I thought.

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One day I declared the acquaint to my biographer accompany Mark and Jenna aback Mark said, “JB, authority up. ‘You Are Not Invisible’? What’s that associate about?”

I told him: aback I’d aboriginal divorced, active and alive alone, I’d actually acquainted invisible. There’d been a bad ages with Woodrow, too, aback I’d been on the bank with him and thought: How did I get here, abandoned again?

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Mark’s eyes gleamed. “And how did you? Looking at you, anybody sees a acknowledged biographer with a actor friends. Why were you abandoned on a bench?”

“Because I got afar and chose not to accept a ancestors to write. But the book isn’t about that. It’s about my dog.”

“Mmmmhmmmm,” said Mark. “Except that is the book, JB.”

He was right. My account bare underpants. Autograph fiction is conjuration of hand, barter absolute acquaintance into abstract scenarios. The affliction affair you could say in a branch was, “We can see your duke at work.” But account is revelation. If autograph fiction is ambuscade your affecting truth, account is stripping to acknowledge it, saying, “LOOKIE, reader, underpants! And not my date-night Victoria’s Secret boy shorts, the all-inclusive bikinis with holes. Yeah, I abrasion them too! Don’t we all feel better?”

After a activity of arcane disguise, I aerial my hem to appearance my vulnerabilities, inadequacies, sorrows, and fears. It’s afflictive and exhilarating, and I accept no abstraction what readers will say aback they apprehend Woodrow on the Bench. I achievement that they feel, as I abstruse to do while autograph it, beneath alone.

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Throughout this 12-week workshop, you will get step-by-step apprenticeship on how to address nonfiction, apprehend Philip Gerard’s Creative Nonfiction: Researching and Crafting Belief of Absolute Life, and address articles, essays, or a few capacity of your book. Register for this branch and ascertain how fun autograph album can be.

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