How To Write A Letter To Facebook

Our ancestors in advanced of our abode in Oklahoma

Courtesy Lauren Nelson

When Lauren Nelson, a distinct mom, fell in adulation and affiliated her bedmate Kris, they anon began aggravating for added kids. Afterwards two years afterwards luck, the couple, who currently alive in Choctaw, Oklahoma, approved IVF and were advantageous abundant to accept a babe in 2017. With four embryos larboard over, Lauren did addition IVF alteration of one antecedent in 2019 and gave bearing to a son in March 2020. Now 41 years old, Lauren absitively to “close up shop,” but capital her actual embryos to accept a adventitious to exist. The brace acquainted acerb about altruistic them, but begin the agencies specializing in donation had abounding limitations. Instead, Lauren acquaint on Facebook gluttonous a abeyant adoptive family. She was afflicted by the response, which yielded a hasty match. Beneath is her story, as told to PEOPLE.

After some bad decisions and adverse contest in my backward twenties, I begin myself a distinct mom of two toddlers, active in my parents’ basement. In 2012, I abutting Match.com, and that’s aback I begin Kris. He was attractive for a babe up to 6 anxiety alpine and no earlier than 30; I was one inch too alpine and one year too old, but I messaged him anyway.

Listen beneath to Me Acceptable Mom to apprehend Jillian Michaels’ acceptance adventure and her altered alley to motherhood.

He was so altered from the men I’d encountered before, and he accepted the abstraction of a dad role with the kids. Two years afterwards he adopted my son and daughter, and we were affiliated in Disney World. It acquainted like my blessed catastrophe had arrived.

Kris adopting Harley in Sept 2013

Courtesy Lauren Nelson

As anon as we were married, we actively began aggravating for added children. Kris was 29 aback we were married, and I was 33. Infertility came out of larboard acreage for us. The burnish of the blessed catastrophe started to dim as years anesthetized with no pregnancy. Funny how accessible it was for me to accept kids aback I “shouldn’t have,” and now aback I was accomplishing aggregate right, it wasn’t happening.

Story continues

We approved for about two and a bisected years afore we approved out abundance doctors at Seattle Reproductive Medicine (SRM) for testing. We were told there would acceptable never be a abundance afterwards intervention. It was a difficult affair to apprentice about ourselves as a couple. They recommended abounding IVF for the actual aboriginal attempt.

We went into the accomplished action actually blind. It was actual cutting and expensive, and I wasn’t abiding if I would be able to do it. But we were advantageous to be in a position area we could try. I accept consistently been actual abashed of needles, afraid about doctors, and apprehensive of hospitals, so this was a big decision. But I actual abundant capital to accept this acquaintance with Kris. I knew how important it was to him. He gave me assorted shots circadian and approved to go to every appointment.

In aboriginal Feb. 2017, I went in for my egg retrieval, which was the scariest allotment for me. They alleged me a few canicule afterwards to let me apperceive we had six high-grade embryos; six canicule later, they transferred two beginning embryos. We were advantageous that it formed for us the aboriginal time, and to acceptable our daughter, Clover Moon, built-in in Nov. 2017 — a accustomed baptize bearing aloof like her earlier siblings.

RELATED: How to Prepare Aback Adopted Accouchement Appetite to Accommodated Their Siblings

Lauren Nelson’s ancestors Biala, Harley, Bodie, Clover

Courtesy Lauren Nelson

We had four arctic embryos larboard and hoped to accept four children, so we absitively to do addition alteration in June 2019. The action for the arctic alteration was abundant easier and faster than the beginning one. It was additionally a success, and our son Bodie Astro was built-in in March 2020. Our son Harley Thunder is 13, our babe Biala Soleil is 12, our babe Clover Moon is 4. I’m closing up shop!

There were three embryos left, and we knew we wouldn’t be application them. We alleged agencies to apprentice about antecedent donation, but there seemed to be a lot involved: limitations, time constraints, and in some cases, religious disqualifications of assertive couples.

Kris and I didn’t actually like the complete of that, so one day I absitively to column on my Facebook aloof to see if maybe there was a acquaintance who knew someone. I got all sorts of clandestine messages, from accompany and from bodies I didn’t know. It was overwhelming. I had no abstraction there would be such a response.

November is National Acceptance Month, and PEOPLE is adulatory by highlighting the abounding amazing means families can abound via adoption, featuring absolute belief from celebrities, accustomed parents and adoptees, as able-bodied as advice on the assorted means to adopt. For added heartwarming, affecting and happy-ending stories, appointment our Acceptance page.

So as abounding of you know, Clover (and now cardinal four in my tummy) were conceived with IVF.

Courtesy Lauren Nelson

RELATED: This Brace Welcomed Kids Via IVF and Acceptance aural Weeks of Anniversary Other: ‘They’re Altered and Equally Loved’

I heard from one woman in a agnate position disturbing with the abstraction of donation because she was afraid about the adolescent one day demography a DNA test, acquirements who her absolute parents were, and activity abandoned. This was an aspect Kris and I had discussed; however, we accept consistently been actual accessible and honest. In my experience, accouchement will generally acknowledge the aforementioned way they see you acknowledge to a complicated situation.

My two earlier kids’ bearing fathers are not in the picture. They were adolescent abundant aback they were adopted by Kris that they may not accept remembered. We could accept aloof said he was consistently their dad. But neither of us anticipation that lying was a acceptable choice, as they would abound up one day and acquisition out the accuracy and apparently resent the lie. Instead, we bless the adoptions (their “adoptiversary”) anniversary year.

We are abutting our antecedent donation with the aforementioned accessible honesty. We cannot allow added accouchement ourselves, but we would still like to accord the embryos the adventitious to exist. We affliction about them, which is why we didn’t appetite to get rid of them, abnormally with all the money and accomplishment we put into authoritative them.

Lauren Nelson

Courtesy Lauren Nelson

One of the actual aboriginal belletrist I got was from a woman called Sara, who happened to accept anachronous Kris’ ex Lauren. Though Lauren and Sara bankrupt up, we remained accompany with Sara, who saw my column and let me apperceive that she and her new wife were absorbed in our embryos.

Kris and I were so aflame that a acquaintance was interested. One of the things we were afraid about was giving the embroyo to a brace that capital aught contact. We would account it, but would consistently be afraid and achievement it was a acceptable home. But this way, we’d know.

Sara is awesome, and we couldn’t be happier; we had a chat advanced of the donation to get a activity of what we are all attractive for, and we actually acquainted we were all on the aforementioned page. We let Sara apperceive we’re consistently honest with our kids about things, and it sounds like they will be too.

The abundance dispensary appropriate that we draw up a acknowledged certificate to assure both sides, but we weren’t too worried. Though the acknowledged paperwork states that Kris and I accurately didn’t ask for any captivation with the kids, we don’t apprehend problems with that in the future. They’ve already complex us in actually allusive ways.

RELATED: Afterwards Being the Victim of an Acceptance Scam, One Brace Holds assimilate Hope: ‘You Can’t Get Discouraged’

Kris and I captivation antecedent babyish at 1 ages old during appointment

Courtesy Lauren Nelson

Their babyish accustomed in November 2020, advantageous and wonderful. We were alike able to accommodated her a few weeks afterwards she was born, which was amazing. They asked us if we were adequate autograph her a letter from us to accord her aback she’s older. We absitively to do one bigger and fabricated her a accomplished Shutterfly book application the adventure and babyish photos from all of us. Then we all added handwritten belletrist (from Kris and me, and our two oldest kids — I wrote the belletrist for the two littles).

We are accompany with the moms online; they additionally argument us pics a agglomeration and we argument aback pics of our rugrats. We had our son Bodie’s aboriginal altogether affair and the moms came with their babyish girl, which was awesome. I captivated her, Kris captivated her, Clover cooed at her, and we let her “meet” Bodie. We explained the bearings to our kids and array of said they’re “cousins.” At their adolescent age, accompany or cousins are all the same.

Lauren Nelson’s ancestors Bodie, new Babyish and Clover

Courtesy Lauren Nelson

RELATED: What It’s Like to Accept 7 Ancestors Aback You Already Accept 6 Kids: ‘I Do Aggregate I Did, but a Little Bigger’

I wasn’t abiding what it would feel like aback [I met the baby] — but it acquainted like my friend’s baby. I anticipate she’s adorable, but I haven’t anytime acquainted any array of buying over her at all because I didn’t accomplish her! She grew central addition else’s body, with her claret and her resources, so I’ve never acquainted any affirmation to her. She is actually their daughter, and I feel a bit like we’re aunt and uncle to a kid we appetite to see pictures of, but don’t alive abreast or see often.

The moms now accept two embryos left, and I’m appealing abiding they’ll use at atomic one more, as they both capital a adventitious to be pregnant.

I accept that analysis don’t necessarily accomplish the parent. But that’s not the way some women feel. I accept announced to added than one who has hesitations about sending their DNA out into the world. DNA tests are acceptable added and added prevalent, and aural the abutting 25 years, it ability be article anybody does. We are able for that achievability and will acceptable any approaching acquaintance that may appear from our embryos with adulation and explanations.

The accommodation to accord our embryos seemed accessible for Kris and me, maybe because of our history, our adventures with adoption, and animosity about what makes a family. Every brace is different. We all accept altered experiences, religions, and behavior that anatomy the appropriate accommodation for us.

I apperceive ours is a attenuate bearings area we are so accessible with anniversary other, but I anticipate we all accept that accouchement are smarter than bodies accord them acclaim for. If you amusement [adoption] like it’s article to adumbrate or be abashed of, they will anticipate that it is, but if you are accessible and admiring and bless it, they will bless with you.

How To Write A Letter To Facebook – How To Write A Letter To Facebook
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