A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer, bartender says “sorry, we don’t serve aliment here.” Belly up to some more bar jokes, here.
3 / 86
Why did the Clydesdale accord the pony a bottle of water? Because he was a little horse. It’s okay, we all beam at bad jokes—they’re absolutely hilarious!
5 / 86
What do you alarm an alligator detective? An investi-gator. If you anticipation this was funny, you’ll adulation these added amusing what do you alarm jokes.
7 / 86
There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it accepting hot in actuality or is it aloof me?” The added muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!” Don’t balloon to apprehend these funny tweets for added laughs.
8 / 86
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match. Actuality are some abbreviate jokes for kids that anyone can remember—and they’re appealing funny!
9 / 86
Why shouldn’t you address with a burst pencil? Because it’s pointless. Don’t anticipate that’s the funniest antic ever? These are the one-liners we apperceive you’ll love.
11 / 86
If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toes. Anticipation that was good? These bulb puns will beating your stalks off.
12 / 86
After a crime, a detective acclaimed that he anticipation it was abhorrent play. The added detective said, “You mean, he was arena with birds?”
13 / 86
What’s amber and sticky? A stick. Charge added laughs? These Laffy Taffy jokes will sweeten your day.
15 / 86
Why do bodies say “break a leg” back you go on stage? Because every comedy has a cast.
16 / 86
What do you alarm a pig that does karate? A pork chop. Actuality are some pig puns that are abiding to accomplish you snort.
17 / 86
What affectionate of apparition has the best hearing? The eeriest.
18 / 86
Why are there gates about cemeteries? Because bodies are dying to get in.
19 / 86
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.
20 / 86
When do computers overheat? Back they charge to vent.
21 / 86
What affectionate of music do planets like? Neptunes. Analysis out these analysis jokes that absolutely corpuscle themselves.
22 / 86
Where can you buy craven borsch in bulk? The banal market.
23 / 86
Why do bees accept adhesive hair? Because they use honeycombs.
24 / 86
How do rabbits travel? By hareplanes. Find the funniest antic for your Christmas affair with these anniversary jokes.
25 / 86
How do you acquaint if a vampire is sick? By how abundant he is coffin.
27 / 86
What do you alarm affected spaghetti? An im-pasta.
28 / 86
What did the yoga adviser say back her freeholder approved to adios her? Namaste.
29 / 86
How do you stop a balderdash from charging? Cancel its acclaim card.
30 / 86
Why did the augment go to the party? Because he was a fungi. Memorize these abbreviate banal jokes to be the hit at your abutting party.
31 / 86
Why did the agriculturalist win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
32 / 86
What do you alarm birds that stick together? Vel-crows.
33 / 86
What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships.
34 / 86
Why can’t your adenoids be 12 inches long? Because again it would be a foot
35 / 86
What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing…It aloof waved. These able jokes will accomplish you complete smart.
36 / 86
What did the amazon say to the added amazon during a race? Ketchup.
37 / 86
Why did the golfer accompany two pairs of pants? In case he got a aperture in one.
38 / 86
What do you alarm a branch that sells acceptable products? A satisfactory.
39 / 86
How did the beautician win the race? He knew a shortcut.
40 / 86
What do beasts best like to read? Cattle-logs. Don’t balloon to analysis out our added amusing cow jokes!
41 / 86
Why does a craven accommodation alone accept two doors? If it had four doors it would be alleged a craven sedan.
42 / 86
What do you alarm a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore. If you anticipation that was good, analysis out these added amusing anachronistic jokes.
43 / 86
What do you alarm a accumulation of cats? A meow-tain. These cat memes will accomplish you beam every time.
44 / 86
What has four auto and flies? A debris truck.
45 / 86
Why don’t they comedy poker in the jungle? Too abounding cheetahs.
46 / 86
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow? No? Really? It’s authoritative headlines! These amusing dog puns will accord you paws.
47 / 86
What do you get back you bead a piano bottomward a abundance shaft? A collapsed minor.
48 / 86
How does a avoid buy lipstick? She aloof puts it on her bill. Analysis out added avoid jokes that’ll dishonest you up.
49 / 86
Why are frogs are so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
50 / 86
What did one hat say to the other? You break here. I’ll go on ahead.
52 / 86
Why did the account go to jail? Because it was framed.
53 / 86
What runs but never goes anywhere? A refrigerator.
54 / 86
What do horses say back they fall? Help, I’ve collapsed and I can’t bemused up. You’ll beam out loud at these added banal jokes about animals.
55 / 86
An angel a day absolutely can accumulate the doctor abroad … but alone if you aim it well. Accumulate the action advancing with these amusing bake-apple puns.
56 / 86
Why can’t you assurance avoid doctors? They’re all quacks. Memorize these added amusing beastly puns.
57 / 86
Why did the bandit jump in the shower? He capital to accomplish a apple-pie getaway.
58 / 86
What did the elevator say back it sneezed? I anticipate I’m advancing bottomward with something.
59 / 86
What do you alarm shoes fabricated of assistant peels? Slippers.
60 / 86
Why did the bike collapse? It was two tired.
61 / 86
What do you alarm a buck with no teeth? A adhering bear.
62 / 86
Why did the restaurant appoint a pig? He was acceptable at bacon.
63 / 86
Did you apprehend about the man who got hit by the aforementioned bike every morning? It was a abandoned cycle. Science takes on new meanings in these 16 amusing physics jokes.
64 / 86
Why did the poor man banal up on yeast? To accomplish some dough.
67 / 86
Why wouldn’t the sesame berry leave the casino? He was on a roll.
68 / 86
What affectionate of shoes do burglars wear? Sneakers.
70 / 86
Why don’t eggs acquaint jokes? They’d able anniversary added up, aloof like these egg puns will able you up.
71 / 86
Did you apprehend about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
72 / 86
Never buy annihilation with Velcro. It’s a absolute rip-off.
75 / 86
What do attorneys abrasion to work? Lawsuits. Charge added laughs? These assignment from home jokes will do the trick.
76 / 86
When is a aperture not a door? Back it’s ajar.
77 / 86
A termite walks into the bar and asks, ”Is the bar breakable here?”
78 / 86
I told my doctor that I bankrupt my arm in two places. He told me to stop activity to those places.
79 / 86
What’s the best way to bake 1000 calories? Leave the pizza in the oven.
81 / 86
What has added lives than a cat? A frog, because it croaks every night.
82 / 86
What do you alarm a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law.
83 / 86
It’s not adamantine to accommodated expenses. They’re everywhere.
84 / 86
All those who accept in psychokinesis, accession my appropriate hand.
85 / 86
If a parsley agriculturalist is sued, can they adornment his wages?
86 / 86
This is my footfall ladder. I never knew my absolute ladder. If you adulation these banal jokes, try some of these cartoons about ancestors activity that will accomplish castigation assume beneath crazy.
Originally Published: August 12, 2019
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How To Write A Joke – How To Write A Joke
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