Edited by: Aneesha Chandra
I’ve been staring at the bare white folio on my laptop for seventeen account now. I’m declared to address an commodity about the agent adventure of my career ambitions but I can’t anticipate of a aboriginal line. The aboriginal line’s declared to be good, right? It’s the angle that gets readers to booty the allurement and absolutely apprehend a thousand-word article; it’s the deal-breaker. I can’t alpha autograph my commodity afterwards a aboriginal line. Bodies consistently advance that I alpha autograph the capital anatomy of the commodity afore the addition because that makes it easier to write. That never absolutely works for me. I accept to accept a aboriginal band and it has to be the aboriginal band of an introduction. What I usually do is address three to four debris curve — to actualize the apocryphal consequence of an addition that would accomplish you admiration how I’m publishing accessories in a accounted academy annual — and abide with the blow of my article. It’s aloof not alive today.
It’s been twenty-nine account aback I’ve opened the Google doc. I don’t intend to accumulate such a abutting eye on the time but I’m afraid about the ever-approaching deadline. I’m staring at the bank now. All I’ve done so far is blazon a agglomeration of accidental letters, adapt them into nonsense words, and architecture them appliance 12-point Times New Roman. I like formatting aboriginal because it gives a faculty of anatomy to my commodity alike afore I blazon out my capital ideas. It’s absolutely an apparition to ambush me into cerebration that I’m absolutely accomplishing some assignment aback it’s all aloof accidental words.
Approximately ten account accept anesthetized and I’ve begin a new way to procrastinate. I’m now blinking in time to my ablaze cursor. It’s adroit and calming. I anticipate about activity for a airing to bright my head. I apprehend about that walking helps you anticipate and enhances adroitness because aback you walk, your affection pumps faster and that agency added claret for your agog brain. Okay, I didn’t absolutely apperceive that. I searched that on Google because blinking at a cursor gets arid afterwards fifty seconds. I don’t go on the airing because I’m too annoyed to attending admirable abundant to be in public. I additionally don’t accept the time. My deadline’s in about two hours and I booty at atomic bristles hours to address an article. I should absolutely get started.
In twelve minutes, the alarm will bell in aching (or celebration?) of my aboriginal hour of unproductivity. I’ve accounting and rewritten the aboriginal band a thousand times. I’m not satisfied. I would scream but I’m not alone. I additionally charge to bottle some affinity of acumen afore I beat my ancestors with my absolute breakdown due in fourteen canicule for the alarming FINALS WEEK. I abode my fingers on the keyboard, acquisitive that they’ll magically advance accuracy of their own, and blazon out clear sentences. They don’t, of course, but the anticipation is as amusing as it is abhorrent (can you brainstorm tiny accuracy at the ends of your fingers? *shudder*). Maybe I should address an commodity about antic things my academician comes up with aback I’m bored. I anticipate it would be a laugh. I blazon out “I accept the best inane thoughts aback I’m apathetic or” on my Google doc but I anon apprehend I do not accept any added “inane thoughts” now that I charge them. My apperception frustrates me.
Four account accomplished the Aboriginal Hour of Glorious Unproductivity, I am actual acquainted of my approaching borderline in beneath than two hours and the abridgement of the barest debris of an article, let abandoned eight hundred words of it, to abide by said deadline. A notification ancestor up on the bottom-right bend of the awning and the time burden is abundant too real: Accumulation C accessories are due tonight! I should be high-tailing it aback to my Google doc to put in the work, put in the hours, and booty what’s [mine]. Instead, I booty my candied time responding to a catechism on a accumulation babble I did not appetite to accede until a added demanding assignment — unfortunately, in this case, autograph my commodity — appeared. There are no added chats to acknowledge to so I grudgingly accessible my still-white, still-blank page. Time passes. I admiration how abounding bodies accept submitted their accessories already; they’re amazing. I should apparently ask them for time-management tips.
The borderline is in seventy-nine minutes. I’m blockage the time in account because beneath than an hour and a bisected sounds like it would breeze past. I’ve managed to address my introduction. There’s a tiny jerk of annoyance but I angrily force it bottomward by axis up the aggregate of an anime accomplishments OST that auto-played on Youtube. Autograph the abutting branch should be a bit easier; I accept all the account in my head, I aloof charge to catechumen those abstruse concepts into concrete, barefaced sentences. I’ve started accounting the additional branch and suddenly, all I can anticipate about is how some fail has angry on the AC to full-blast and now my anxiety are ice-cold. It takes me fifteen account to coursing for a brace of analogous socks. I accord up eventually and accomplish do with a affection amber beat on one bottom and a bristling blah beat on the other.
This is it, I acquaint myself with blaster account larboard until the deadline. I’m not activity to get absent this time. I cycle up my sleeves to my elbows and cull my beard into a blowzy bun, beam to myself about the adventitious cliché, and alpha typing. I’m alone two sentences in afore the keys on my keyboard stop clacking. I don’t appetite to address this commodity appropriate now. I’ve been alienated cerebration about why I aloof can’t assume to alpha autograph all this time but I don’t anticipate I can get advanced afterwards against it. The accuracy is, applying to alum schools has been cutting and abnormally abundant at invoking questions about self-worth and authoritative the appropriate choice. I’ve been angry about it all day. Autograph about how I started to accompany my acreage of absorption (one of my best memories) at this point would alone force me to accord with how beat and defeated I’ve been activity about the absolute appliance action aback I’m not absolutely ready. I would not be able to accord that anamnesis any amends in my accounting assignment and that would aloof be apparent aweless to me as a writer.
With twenty-nine account to the deadline, I columnist Ctrl-A and backspace. All two hundred and thirty words of my commodity are anon erased. It feels good. I’m relieved. I glance at my buzz and the cutting time crisis is aback like a bedrock belief on my shoulders. I sit aback in my chair, try to dislodge the bedrock as I anticipate about what to address now. Maybe I’ll address article low-effort, maybe a fun listicle about how to cope with writer’s block. It hits me then. I blazon in my title, adjust it to the center, and accomplish it bold. I smile like the Cheshire cat as I assuredly alpha typing.
I’ve been staring at the bare white folio on my laptop for seventeen account now.
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