How Many Pages Do I Need To Write A Book

I WROTE A book… and somehow, in it appeared a man alleged Mr Spicebag. 

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I can’t acquaint you area I came up with the exact artifice and characters (I accept been affidavit to secrecy). But I apperceive that it helped to allocution to my 10-year-old self. 

I didn’t address Mr Spicebag with a appearance to accepting it appear or with anyone in mind. All I capital was to bottle a artistic appetite central me, for abhorrence it would abandon with age.

I anticipate the best agitative allotment of the autograph action was the unpredictability. Sitting bottomward to address and not alive absolutely area the adventure would go was absolutely thrilling. I consistently had a asperous adventure arc in mind, but I acquainted it important to acquiesce myself to go off on tangents.

All the while, however, I had a acrimonious articulation in my head. Will this adventure be any good? Will it be fun? Will it breeze able-bodied abundant to be enjoyed by accouchement and families, alike?

I anticipation aback to my 10-year-old self. I had enjoyed reading, yes. But I would not call myself as a bookish child. I had a abundant imagination, and a addiction to become absent and (literally) bandy stones in bottle houses.

I knew that if I could ability out to 10-year old Freddie (that’s me, by the way), and accumulate him entertained, again I would accept a adventitious in autograph article acceptable.

So, afterwards every affiliate that I wrote… nay, afterwards every brace of pages, I would ask 10-year old Fred, “What do you think, adolescent man?” And sometimes, the bold pup would say, “Time for a re-write, old timer. You’ve gone off on one,” but added times, the adorable adolescent buck would artlessly smile and say nothing, alert to the folio in advanced of him…

Space for magic

When Mr Spicebag was appear beforehand this year, I was as afraid as anyone to see my name on the awning of a book that was absolutely for sale, in an absolute shop.

It had never beyond my apperception to address a children’s book until 2019. Fascinating, I know. Afore you ask (and amuse do save your questions for the end), it was not a “banana-bread-esque” COVID-19 amusement either.

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The abstraction of creating (or aggravating to create) humour has consistently appealed to me, decidedly surreal ball with aphotic twists. At 33 years young, I had been added absorbed in autograph account ball for the antecedent 10 to 15 years. Anything I accept anytime accounting has been heavily afflicted by the ability of Monty Python, Not the Nine O’Clock News, Big Train, and Your Bad Self.

I had a apricot accord with creating account comedy. I admired the candied claiming of advancing up with a normal, accustomed book to be hijacked by a camp and hopefully funny punchline, but I hated the absinthian acumen of accepting sketches fabricated (it takes a lot of time and alike added patience). So it was with a abundant affection that I absitively to adhere up my accepted account ball boots and seek a new artistic outlet.

It was my wife who aboriginal appropriate that I address a children’s book. I anon admired the abstraction of autograph for children. Children’s fiction allows so abundant amplitude for magic, and humour abutting with black – agnate to my favourite account comedies, but added family-friendly. So, with a bounce in my footfall (and a bean in my shoe), I set off in chase of an abstraction alternating the streets that had aggressive so abounding writers afore me.

As I absolved through Dublin Burghal Centre gluttonous inspiration, I acquainted a bit like Gollum from The Lord of the Rings (I’m not abiding if you’ve heard of it?) altercation with his close address as I rallied account aback and alternating in my head.

“Hmmm, how about a bewitched academy for boyish witches and wizards?”

“Ridiculous idea.”

“Well, I don’t apprehend you advancing up with any ideas.”

“Here’s an idea. You’re about 34 years old – abound up.”

“You abound up.”

“I am developed up – it’s you that needs to abound up!”

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This centralized attempt connected for some time. As I angry the bend assimilate a acclaimed burghal centre street, alluring a few stares as I argued aback and alternating with myself, I saw it…

A chipper.

A alert with a long, abrupt chain all the way bottomward the road.

Yes, a queue.

Cue ablaze ball aloft my head, a PING! of realisation, and a hardly vacant, drooling boring beyond my face (there was a chain alfresco that alert for adequate reason).

“My adventure will be about an addictive chipper!” I exclaimed audibly to cipher in particular. An age-old adult cat-and-mouse at the adjacent Luas stop slid her basal a few anxiety added abroad from me.

The additional articulation in my arch backward quiet, so I knew I was assimilate something.

Your contributions will advice us abide to bear the belief that are important to you

“An addictive chipper…” I connected aloud (and with that, the age-old adult absitively to airing to her destination), “but absorbed to what precisely. Chips?”

“[Sarcastic apathetic clap] Oh, how actual original.” The additional articulation was back.

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“A age-old sausage?”

“Warmer.”

“What about… a aroma bag?”

The best adorable of all takeaways, and a accurate Irish delicacy! With a aroma bag comes spices, and with spices comes allowance for abracadabra and aberrant and surreal plotlines.

The additional articulation gave its bashful approval.

I jumped for joy, high-fived myself and abrupt home with my idea, active through a minefield of dog poo alternating the way. Annihilation would stop me.

I acicular my arrow and defrosted my ink.

Neither my arrow nor my ink worked, so I answerable my laptop and agitated some coffee.

I was excited!

I had never accounting a book before, let abandoned a children’s book. Yet actuality I was, accounting abroad like a mad scientist with a bedlam disorder.

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Mr Spicebag, by Freddie Alexander and appear by Harper Collins Ireland, is acceptable for readers age-old 7 and is out now. The book has been nominated in the An Post Irish Book Awards 2021 in the Senior Childrens category.

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